If You Could Touch Me
by SLopez
Summary: AU. Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson meet online. After a failed attempt to meet in person, she contacts him again. The problems are: he's the only one who can talk to her and she's stuck in the computer. Loosely based on the movie "Just Like Heaven"
1. Rehearsals and Blind Dates

_Hi everyone!  
><em>

_So, this is my new story! I've written the first two chapters over a month ago and didn't publish them, because I had exams, so it was hard for me to write and study at the same time. Apparently there's now another story based on the movie "Just Like Heaven". I've read the first chapter, just to be sure that the two stories aren't following the same path. And I can assure you that they're not! :) Mine is a very loose version based on the movie and there are only bits of dialogue that have some resemblance with the movie._

_Thanks to Sandra (**sandra-wfg**), who helped me with some amazing beta-ing and put up with me since the beginning. And thanks to my new amazing beta **oftheheart**. Go check their stories!_

_I hope you enjoy! ;)_

_**Disclaimer:** Glee owns me; not the other way around._

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><p><strong>If You Could Touch Me<strong>

**Chapter 1: Rehearsals and Blind Dates**

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><p>Being a part of a big, successful and competitive Broadway production wasn't easy, even for the understudies. Especially for the lead roles' understudies. They had to know all their lines and the lines for the roles they were understudying for; they had to work harder and learn all the choreographies, in case the person they were to replace became sick or pregnant or quit or any other possible scenario. All in all, it was more exhausting to be an understudy for a lead role than to be <em>the<em> lead role. Rachel Berry was the living proof of that.

At the age of 24, she landed a small part on the play, but one of the producers picked her to be the understudy for the female lead role, though she was not the only one. The production was so big and important that the main characters had _three_ understudies each – they couldn't risk anything that could compromise the show. And Rachel wasn't even the first choice.

The other two girls competing with her had already solid supporting roles while she only had a few lines in the scenes she was in. Not that she was complaining, because being in a Broadway production, even with a smaller part, was way better than the dozen off-Broadway roles she had taken before.

So, now that the female lead announced that she was pregnant and was leaving in two weeks, the three girls went like crazy on their rehearsals, trying harder than ever. Of course, one of them was shining and working more than the others: the one and only Rachel Berry.

The week after the announcement, she stayed in the studio practicing the lines and revising the dance moves and the songs that she already knew by heart. During the day, she rehearsed with the other two girls. Despite the fact that they were competition, they were also friends and, honestly, the three girls could only rely on each other. However, Rachel also used to stay there after hours, pursuing nothing but perfection. She knew she was the last choice and she wouldn't step on her friends, but she had to try nonetheless.

One afternoon, the three girls were rehearsing together and Tina – the tallest of the three, brunette with a few blue locks of hair, with Asian features and the most likely to become the new star of the production – decided to take a break, sitting on the edge of the stage. Sooner, Sunshine, a Filipino girl, also brunette and shorter than Rachel, had joined the other girl and they had started to chat about this and that, boyfriends and heartbreaks, make ups and break ups, while Rachel practiced one of the choreographies alone. She was their friend, but she never joined in their conversations about boys, mainly because she wasn't seeing anyone at the moment.

She was, however, interested on what the girls were talking about, so she kept an ear on their conversation.

"How could he do this to me," Tina asked to no one in particular, "We were happy. At least, I thought so!"

Sunshine's soothing voice tried to calm the other girl.

"You're overreacting. And you're only taking that text message in consideration. Did you let Mike talk and explain himself? That might have been only a scheme of that slut," the other girl sobbed, "Look, why don't you text him to meet you at McLaren's tonight? I'll be there, if you want me. And I'll bring my boyfriend with me, if you don't mind, of course."

Tina sniffled and mumbled an "okay."

"It's a date, then," Sunshine replied, standing up, "Now let's get back to work."

The Asian girl groaned while getting up. Rachel could tell she wanted to do everything but rehearse.

"Oh Rachel, you don't know how lucky you are for not having a boyfriend," she exclaimed, "They're mostly scumbags, pain in the ass and trouble. I'm telling you!"

"Yeah," agreed Sunshine, grinning, "I mean, I love my boyfriend, but having a bikini wax almost every week just to please him… Why won't he have the bikini wax?"

The girls laughed and Rachel joined them, out of politeness. The last time she was in a stable relationship was over a year ago, way before this production started. She didn't even remember what dating felt like. And these girls had handsome men, that wanted to spend time with them, and they were still complaining. She could never understand that. And sure, Tina and Mike were not on the best terms, but Rachel was sure it was just a misunderstanding and she hoped it was temporary.

"Rachel," the Filipino girl called her, creasing her brows. Apparently, she had zoned out while her friends were talking to her.

"I'm sorry, I was distracted."

The other girl giggled, "I could see that. I was asking you if you want to go out with us tonight."

That was one of the things Rachel loved about those girls: how they could detach work from their personal lives. They could be competitors, but still managed to maintain the friendship and she felt so glad to be a part of that. Most of the times, though, Rachel didn't go out with them because they always brought their boyfriends and she felt like a third wheel.

However, when they had their "girls' night out," Rachel would go with them, without hesitating. One of those nights, Tina tried to fix her up with this creepy Jacob guy. He had followed her for weeks and only stopped when she threatened him with a restraining order. Apparently, the boy had a criminal record for being a stalker and he promised to stop if she didn't press charges against him. So far, so good. She never caught him spying on her again and Tina also quit the matchmaking, thankfully.

"I'd love to, but I can't."

"Why not?" Tina wanted to know; she was always the curious one.

"I have plans," Rachel replied, plainly.

The other girls exchanged a look.

"Are you going to stay here and rehearse until midnight or do you have a date with your TV," Sunshine asked; she was always the blunt one.

Rachel scoffed. "First of all, I never stay here until midnight. The nightwatchman closes the studio at 10 PM, which you would know if you worked more. Second, I have a date, yes, but not with my TV. And I'm not taking this conversation any further."

Both Tina and Sunshine gaped at her in shock.

"Rachel, spill," demanded the tinier girl, but Rachel refused to. She then turned to Tina, "She's lying."

"You can think and believe whatever you want, but I can assure you that I'm not lying. And I won't say anything else on this subject."

They were about to protest, when their choreographer, the awful – but also a legend among the choreographers – Dakota Stanley, interrupted them. He was a tiny man – tinier than Rachel and barely matching Sunshine's height – with the power to bring down whomever he wanted to with a simple word.

"Asian, Shorty and Nose, you're paid to dance and sing, not to chit chat," he said, with disdain, "Come on, move your asses!"

The girls did as obliged and helped each other throughout the rehearsal, always under the attentive gaze of Dakota.

Rachel was glad that the man didn't let them alone all afternoon. She really didn't want to talk about the date. Not that she was lying – she wasn't – but she was not willing to admit to her friends that she was going to have a blind date. And, frankly, she doubted she would even have the courage to show up.

Before the female lead got pregnant, Rachel had more time to herself and she had always loved watching TV. One day, she got curious about some aspects of one of her favorite TV shows and decided to start digging around on the internet for juicy spoilers, until she found herself on a forum of that fandom. She clicked on a thread, which title caught her attention and the last post was an interesting point of view, about the couple she adored, by someone with the alias FHDrummer. She registered immediately under the alias MsRBroadway and posted a reply.

After that, the person replied back and the both of them engaged in a conversation right there and, for a couple of days, that was the only mean of communication between them.

One morning, she logged in the forum to find a private message from FHDrummer.

_Hey, MsRBroadway. I'm sorry if I'm somehow intruding in your life, but I'd really like to get to__know you better.  
>So, for starters, my name is Finn Hudson and I like to play the drums.<br>I hope to hear from you soon.  
>Bye<em>

Firstly, she considered not giving that message too much credit and she didn't reply immediately. Until, one day, she decided to.

_Hi, Mr. Hudson. My name is Rachel Berry and I'm currently a part of a big Broadway production. I have total interest in knowing you better as well.  
>With the best regards,<br>Rachel Berry*_

She pressed the send button and ten minutes later she had a response.

_Hi, Rachel. I hope you don't mind that I call you by your first name. It's nice to meet you! And you can call me Finn. I'm only 25 and Mr. Hudson makes me feel old.  
>So, am I actually talking to a Broadway star? What is the production?<br>Talk to you soon.  
>Finn<em>

They exchanged a few more private messages from the forum, until Finn asked her for her email address. She was a bit reluctant at first, but finally agreed and the emails kept going back and forth, just like the private messages. After that, they not only sent emails to each other, but they also talked via instant messages.

So, after a month, Rachel knew Finn was a single, 25 year old young man from a small town in Ohio, who was currently living in New York City and trying to find a stable band where he could show his drumming skills. She also knew he had a stepbrother working in Los Angeles.

Then, she had to, suddenly, work very hard for the play and couldn't spend as much time talking to him as before. However, they still talked every day, at least, a half an hour, after she got home from the studio.

One night, they talked about meeting in person. Rachel was, at first, very excited. However, they'd never seen each other's pictures nor talked via Skype. She had no idea how he looked like. That was why Rachel was so uneasy about this date. What if he was a pervert like Jacob? Worse: what if he _was_ Jacob? What if he was, in fact, a middle aged man, pretending to be younger to pick up girls like her? A lot of "what ifs" crossed her mind, crushing her optimism and making her courage vanish.

They planned a date, anyway. If she missed it, she could always make up some excuse or quit contact with him altogether.

_How will I know who you are_, she asked, during the last conversation they had had, the night before.

_**Look out for the tall, awkward guy. That would be me ;)**_

And she intended to. The anxiety was building in her, though, and she was more apprehensive about the date with each passing minute. As the time of the date slowly approached, she even got a few dance moves wrong and Dakota called her out several times.

"Nose, where is your mind set right now? You can't get anything right," he bashed on her.

She mumbled "sorry" after "sorry," until the tiny man decided to end the rehearsal and call it a day; Rachel tried to reason with him and negotiate a few more hours on the studio to practice, but he was adamant.

To tell the truth, she wasn't going to be there much longer, since her date was set at 10 PM and her watch showed 9:15 PM. However, she hadn't decided yet whether she was going or not. Maybe that was a sign that she should go.

With Tina and Sunshine on her tail, chattering about their plans, she gathered her things and headed to the exit.

"Rachel, are you sure you don't wanna go with us," asked Tina, pleasantly. If Rachel had to pick one of the girls, she would go for Tina, with no doubt. She was always nice to her and had always a kind word towards her, unlike the tiny Filipino, who was quite abrupt.

"Yes, I'm sure. I told you I have a date. I wasn't lying," Rachel responded with a genuine smile, "but thanks anyway. I appreciate it."

The other girls shrugged and, waving goodbye, headed in the opposite direction of Rachel.

Alone again, she walked down the street, thinking of what she was about to do. She had never, in her 24 years of living, had a blind date and she was frightened. The same fears that bothered her during the whole day came back now at full force.

Still absorbed in her thoughts, she hit the end of the street and waited, patiently, for the sign to change in order to let her cross the road. Once the traffic light changed, granting her to cross, she put a foot on the road.

The last thing Rachel heard were tires screeching against the asphalt while everything went dark.

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><p><em>What do you think?<em>

_Let me know!_

_SLopez_


	2. Auditions and Insomnias

_Hello everyone! :)_

_First of all, I'm terribly sorry for the waiting, but I'm on vacations and I'd rather be on the beach than glued to my laptop! ;)_

_So, I'm uploading the second chapter, but I don't know when I'll be uploading again. Maybe next week, or only in August... :(_

_Thanks for the amazing reviews, the favorites and the alerts. You make my day!_

_Special thanks to **sandra-wfg** and **oftheheart**, the most amazing betas anyone could wish for! ;)_

_**Disclaimer:** Don't own Glee, unfortunately..._

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Auditions and Insomnias<strong>

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><p>That day seemed to never end.<p>

Finn Hudson had started the day at 6:30 AM – which was something that the ones who knew him would never believe – with three different auditions for bands in need of a drummer.

The last band he'd been a part of had to cut the budget and, oddly, he was the first one being dismissed. They gave him some lame excuse about how the drummer position was dispensable.

"How is the drummer dispensable?" he had asked, but he got the door closed in his face as an answer.

He had always lived in the fantasy that every band had this special bond or connection that made them inseparable friends, from the moment they met until eternity. He learned, the hard way, that reality was pretty different. And he really needed money.

When he moved to New York City, three months ago, he got a job as a bartender. He worked six days a week, always on the night shift. It wasn't the best job, because the band's gigs and his work hours were practically overlapping. However, his boss was pretty cool and would let him skip work to attend the concerts. Plus, he was surviving on that job.

His paycheck covered the crappy studio he was living in, plus some bills – barely. Luckily, he had saved some money from the gigs and the tips at the bar were pretty awesome – bachelorette parties were _the best_. He was lucky for being kinda good-looking.

Nevertheless, he was running out of money. That was why the auditions were so important and why he only slept two hours – _tops_ – that night.

The first audition was for some weird emo chicks, with little silver skulls hanging from their ears, black clothes and nails painted like a rainbow. There was also a creepy guy with them that Finn assumed to be the guitarist.

He played something from the My Chemical Romance repertoire, because, well, it seemed to be more fitting to that particular band. They all cheered when it ended and the creepy guy told him they would call him. They seemed pretty wasted, though. Or stoned. Or maybe both. And to be honest, if they didn't call him ever again, he wouldn't care. He wouldn't have blended in that band, anyway.

The second audition went differently. There were four band members and they were _normal_. He played some classic rock from the 80s – exactly the type of music he felt comfortable with – and it went pretty well. That is, until the four guys wrinkled their noses at the same time, like they had freaking rehearsed that shit – seriously, it was creepy as hell – and told him that they were sorry but he was not what they were looking for.

Completely discouraged – because he'd given his fucking best on that audition – he left The Idiotic Four behind and headed to the next and last place he would be auditioning that day.

The three dudes welcomed him warmly and after he played something from one of the many famous bands he knew, a little bit messy – he was still pretty upset because of the Four Douches –, they asked him to play one of their originals.

"An original?" The guys nodded and he started sweating bullets. It was going to be hard. He had no idea what was the freaking song's rhythm, tempos, anything!

"Just keep up with us," they said, smiling to reassure him. He shoved his fears aside and his hands seemed to have gotten a mind of their own, as soon as they started playing their guitars. The song was pretty great and he found himself keeping up with them easily, even doing an elaborate piece as an accompaniment to one of the guitars' solo. Which, of course, didn't mean it was good. Far from it. In his opinion, anyway.

When they finally finished it, the guys smiled at him and told him they would call the next day, which in Finn's mind was only a polite way to say that you suck. Sure, this wasn't his best performance, but damn, the dudes asked him to improvise. What was he supposed to do?

_Well, fuck them!_ He had a lot going on his mind lately and he wasn't willing to stand all the crap those bands were sending his way. They didn't want him? _Fine__._ He would have to find another way to earn some money.

Surprisingly, the worst part of his day was yet to come. He went home to shower and eat something.

Finn had to be presentable at the courthouse. That damned lawsuit was dragging on forever. He just wanted it to be over so he could have some peace of mind. He hadn't a decent night of sleep for _ages_. For his sake, he hoped that would be his last attendance at the courthouse, no matter what the results coming from that was. Of course, he wished all his nights of insomnia hadn't been in vain.

He wasn't stupid, though. He knew lawsuits weren't resolved in only a couple of days, like the movies and TV shows wanted to make people believe. He knew cases that had been on for years. Luckily, the one he was involved in, was, for some reason, a minor case and they said it would be resolved in a couple of weeks.

However, there he was, a month after it all started, waiting for that to be the last session. He had to wait over two hours for the verdict. His heart was thumping like crazy inside his chest and he honestly thought he was going to die when the judge entered the room for the final words.

Half an hour later, he was outside the courthouse, a smile on his face, finally breathing in relief.

The day started off pretty bad, but the afternoon wasn't as painful as he thought it would be. His prayers were answered and that was, in fact and hopefully, the last time he would have to be in that place.

All Finn wanted was to get home and take a well-deserved nap. And he did so. Until hunger woke him up.

He prepared his microwave meal, grabbed a plate and turned on his laptop. Not that he had to do a lot there, but trolling around the internet was good from time to time and, with some luck, maybe that last band had sent him an acceptance email.

After a while, he was surprised to see that someone sent him an instant message. He was even more surprised to see it was Rachel Berry, the girl who stood him up. What did she want, after all that time?

_Hi Finn :) How are you?_

Was she kidding him? Was that some kind of a game? He pondered whether he should answer or not. He decided to just go for it and maybe bash on her a little.

_**Hey Ms. Stand-People-Up. You could've at least warned me that you couldn't meet me that day. I would've understood.**_

_What are you talking about?_

Either this chick was crazy or she wanted to make him crazy.

_**About our date. A month ago, remember?**_

_But… I didn't go? Wait, a month ago? It's been a month since then? _

She had to be kidding. How could she not know that a month had passed?

_**I don't know why you're trying to mess with my head, but it won't work, okay? You chose not to meet me that day. What do you want from me now? Just leave me alone.**_

She didn't answer right away and he took his plate to the sink and washed it. When Finn returned to his computer, he noticed she was already offline. _Great. Run away again, you coward__, _he thought.

He then turned off the computer and went to bed. Supposedly, he had to work that night, but his boss knew what was going on and gave him the night off. Hopefully, he was going to enjoy a good night of sleep.

Easier said than done. First, it was too hot under the covers. He tossed them aside, but then he got too cold. And he was so tired. Too tired to even fall asleep. On top of that, all he could think about was Rachel Berry.

Finn had never met her, he had never seen a picture of her, he had never heard her voice, but he knew she wasn't fake. He knew she wasn't just a kid or an old dude playing him through the internet. He never doubted that she was real. That was why he couldn't comprehend why she was doing this to him. Why was she pretending she didn't skip the date? Why was she pretending that she didn't know a month had passed? Those questions were screwing his brain over. And, for some reason, he felt like he had to work hard to ever get the answers.

Especially after he had treated her the way he had. He felt bad for being so surly in their conversation, for maybe hurting her feelings, but he was hurt as well. Not that he hadn't been stood up before, but this was different and he couldn't explain why.

Which brought another question: why couldn't he just stop thinking about her? He wanted to sleep for Christ's sake!

Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. He got out of bed and headed to his desk, turning on the laptop again. He opened a tab with his email account and started writing.

_Dear Rachel,  
>I'm sorry for talking to you that way, but I had a really rough day and it just seemed that you were mocking me or something. And just because I had a terrible day, I know I shouldn't have taken it out on you.<br>I have a lot of questions, though. And I feel like you didn't meet me because you haven't seen me yet and maybe you're afraid that I'm just some creepy guy. I can assure you that I'm not. At least, no one complained about that, so far. Anyway, if you want to be reassured, I suggest that we send each other's pictures to one another. Actually, I'm going to send you mine right away, so don't forget to look for the attachment.  
>And I really want us to meet, so… think about it.<br>Well, it's kinda late, but I couldn't sleep knowing that you could be angry at me, or that I had hurt your feelings somehow.  
>So, yeah… I'm not good with words and I'll stop now.<br>Just, please, answer me as soon as you read this, okay?  
>Okay… bye.<br>Finn_

He hit send before he actually had the time to change his mind. Then, he stared blankly at the screen of his laptop for about ten minutes, before realizing she wasn't going to answer in the middle of the night. He just hoped he had a new message when he woke up.

He turned off the computer, dragged himself back to the bed and the last thing he remembered was turning off his nightstand's lamp.

Finn slept the rest of the night like a rock. He even dreamt about a tiny brunette with big, chocolate brown eyes, he had never met.

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><p><em>What do you think?<em>

_Let me know!_

_SLopez_


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